U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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