True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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