My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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