do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
