If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
