You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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