And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
false alarm, still single
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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