saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my being single is dangerous.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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