i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
do nipples grow back?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
