I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
