I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
