It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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