i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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