Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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