You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
