Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
