Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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