she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
