I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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