What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
