You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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