Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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