Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
