Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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