The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
