I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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