I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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