I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
