So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
