She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
