Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
