Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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