just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
