Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
