Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
