So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
