How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
