? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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