I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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