She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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