I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just forgot I was standing up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
