We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
