YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you made out with another girl for some wings
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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