Duck Duck Cougar?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
