maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
