While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
