ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
