today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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