Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
