I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize