I'm really into asian looking animals
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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