i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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