Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
