john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
