yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
