Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
