i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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