I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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