Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
