I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
